


A Familiar End

by w3djyt



Category: Bleach
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-17
Updated: 2012-10-17
Packaged: 2017-11-16 12:39:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/539515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/w3djyt/pseuds/w3djyt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Byakuya and Renji and the fourth division hospital... again. Because sometimes hope becomes denial.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Familiar End

_“STOP!!”_

Renji woke with a start, hunched over and aching and fighting the moment of disorientation that came with waking from an unintended nap in a stiff wooden chair. Twilight creeped in through an open window, slowly bringing the unlit room into focus; a plethora of machines he didn’t understand littered his immediate surroundings, though most, it seemed, had been pushed back against the wall: no longer needed by the form stirring in the bed he was apparently leaning against. Red hair spilled forward against the pristine white sheets and he belatedly made an effort to push himself back from where he’d leaned over in his sleep. It was painful, of course, between the heavy lacerations, blunt force trauma and, now, muscles stiff from awkward angles and disuse, but he repressed the wince and raised a hand to push his hair back.

“Renji?”

It was so soft he almost missed it and so jumped slightly when it finally registered. His gaze swung quickly back to the bed and it’s inhabitant. “Tai-” He cleared his throat and quickly set a hand gently - no more than the slightest pressure - to his captain’s bandage wrapped shoulder. “Taichou,” he managed more clearly and far steadier the second time. “Don’t move too much.”

Grey eyes drifted shut as the noble stilled his instinctive urge to rise and, at the very least, sit up. Renji drew a calming breath meant to slow his speeding heart against the jolt of adrenaline from just seeing the other man conscious for the first time since the final flurry of his captain’s own technique had all but destroyed his form. It was only partially successful. “I - you’re in Fourth,” he quickly amended, swallowing back the tremors and fear that he knew would otherwise linger in his voice. Not something he was proud of, but not something to be fixed just then either. Another, lengthy pause and he leaned forward again, wondering over the stillness of the noble’s form even though he knew, somewhere in the back of his mind, that the machines still hooked up would be making one hell of a racket if the noble had worsened or fallen back to that cusp he’d lingered on even in Unohana’s talented care. 

“The battle?” Byakuya’s eyes hadn’t opened again, but the tone was unmistakably stronger. 

Renji stilled a moment before retracting his hand and pulled himself up straighter where he sat. Now wasn’t the time. “Over,” he shortly answered, frowning as he thought of how best to phrase the rest. Silence lingered as the words all but vanished from his mind no matter how he tried to capture them. He gave a rough sigh and lidded his gaze, glancing aside.

“Rukia?” the nobleman therefore prompted, far more carefully blinking his eyes open once more.

“Better than both of us,” the redhead somewhat dryly reported. They both knew he wouldn’t be there if that wasn’t the case, but neither felt the need to comment on it. Instead, the statement was followed with a short and sudden, “‘m sorry… Taichou, I couldn’t-“

“Neither could I.” His captain’s voice was even again. Calm, and controlled and seeming so separate of the body it belonged to just then; far more put together than the heavily damaged form should have been able to muster. A familiar envy followed the blunt, all too painful admittance, which Renji tucked away. Another time, perhaps.  

“… Ah,” the younger man acknowledged instead, slowly turning his gaze back to the white wrapped form, choosing to visually trace the lengths of the various tubes and wires still attached than attempt to meet the slate grey of his captain’s eyes. It was hard enough just sitting there, at once so utterly relieved and yet completely choked by battle born shame and guilt. He hadn’t made a bit of a difference in the match - even when abandoning his orders for the sake of a man who’d managed to survive more by sheer will and internal strength than by any interference of his own. 

Silence permeated the air, the soft hum of the machines an accent to its oppressive presence. It seemed like there had been so much to say - here, on the field, struggling against wounds and healers alike just to get into the same room. But now none of it would come out. Not his relief. Not his fear. Not even a practiced briefing. Only emptiness. Only shame.

“… How long?”

Renji gave another start at the sudden inquiry, instinctively setting his hand to the bed as he looked over to the man laying still upon it. “… A while.” He cleared his throat a bit self consciously. “Few days… at least. … Lost track a bit, I-“

“You were right.” 

A wide eyed stare. Renji choked back the rest of what he was going to say in favor of a confused and shocked, “Taichou?”

Byakuya didn’t meet his gaze, continuing to stare listlessly upward, though, for a moment, in the way the man’s eyes closed slowly - as if a blink were too fast a movement to attempt just then - he could practically see their last battle playing out before slate grey eyes. “I made… the wrong call.”

_“Renji.”_

_The redhead slid his gaze askance at his captain’s command, not wholly removing his attention from their opponent, but dutifully heeding the noble’s word._

_“If he manages to seal my bankai… defeat him with yours.”_

Instinctively, Renji shook his head. That was… wrong. Maybe years ago - perhaps even just two - he would’ve enjoyed being told of the heir to Soul Society’s foremost noble house admitting to error. “No, Taichou, I-“

“You were right.”

_“That’s why we shouldn’t use our bankai!”_

Silence again. Renji frowned, moving his hand from the bed to rest instead atop his captain’s instead. “… So what if I was?” That was enough, it seemed, to finally drag Byakuya’s gaze back to him directly. He swallowed and continued on. “You think I haven’t turned it over in my head more times ‘an I can count? ‘s pretty easy ta do, now that it’s behind us and we’re stuck in here like this…” His grip tightened slightly, but there was no change in Byakuya’s expression: not even a tensing against any pain the action had likely caused. 

_“This is… not a seal…”_

“… Only  _your_  shikai could touch them, Taichou,” Renji continued on a low exhale, eyes lidding and cast aside, unable to hold his captain’s gaze as he said the words. “Of the two of us… yeah, maybe I shoulda charged in an’ maybe we’d have been better off if they’d taken Zabimaru instead - you’ve defeated us before, it wouldn’t be that hard for you, eh?” He shook his head lightly. “Or maybe I should’ve stepped in after they took your bankai. Maybe I could’ve kept their attention off a you. Maybe I could’ve done any a that, but you know what I else I think?” he positioned, looking back to the noble and the slightly raised eyebrows that prompted him to finish. “I think if I’d done any of that… if you’d  _let_  me do any of that… I’d be dead.”

“Renji-“

“You  _know_ ,” the redhead cut in on a pointed frown; suddenly unwilling to let the silence submerge the topic again. “Ever since Aizen, you’ve always known… exactly how strong I am, Kuchiki Taichou. So maybe I could’ve taken some hits… but letting me do that - at any point - it probably would’ve gotten me killed. So if you have to think you made the wrong call… it can only be true… if there was no right call to make.”

The quiet hum and soft beep of fourth division’s medical contraptions rumbled along, easily obscuring the soft exhale of the sixth division captain they helped keep alive, but not the slight twist of his hand beneath his vice captain’s and the tenuous grasp therein achieved. 


End file.
